The daughters whose mothers are not loving have a lot of issues from living a harsh and insane lifestyle. Here’s why they attract narcissists:
I think that living with a Narcissistic Mother is probably one of the most terrible abuses of children, because, depending on how cruel their mother was, maybe sometimes they don’t even realize that they were abused.
One daughter with a Narcissistic Mother wrote something so sincere:
There is a difference between all daughters with narcissistic mothers, depends on the circumstances, ages, memories, degrees of suffering or desire to vent, the results of being raised by this kind of mentally ill mother are universal.
It is a rejection of the soul, and I’d insist that the damage it does is more dangerous than most other forms of child abuse.
Nobody could see it, including the perpetrator, who simply cannot see what she has done, and her sufferer. The harm it does is inescapable, it is cruel, traumatic and mutilating.
I absolutely wasn’t aware of the abuse. My sister left home when she was 15, to live with a neighbor, and I didn’t saw her until she was 17, at that moment I questioned myself: “What’s her problem?”
I never questioned myself, from where did my depression, suicide attempt, constant suicide thoughts, eating disorder, come from.
We just keep the stress, and think that there is something wrong, horrible, and maybe even crazy with us. This is just because of the fact that our Narcissistic Mothers and Enabling Fathers tell us that we’re crazy! They teach us that our memory and judgment are wrong, saying repeatedly that we’re crazy.
When I had my last conversation with my mother she told me patronizingly that I had a very good imagination and I was completely imagining all of what I was survived.
Of course, our culture, teach us, loud and clear, that we need to love our mother and that she loves us, too. Because of this, our friends just can’t understand anything, and that’s why we are alone in this.
And we are convinced that we love her because that’s what daughters do. And as normal loving girls, we wish for a love.
The heritage of being a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother just keeps on going. I’ve described, bitterly, as the present that keeps on giving.
We don’t really know who we are, we’re assuming that we can figure out when the time will come.
We suffer from low self-respect, often to the level of self-loathing, and we struggle to find something to keep us safe.
We can’t love ourselves, and all this is evidenced by our negative thought.
We may believe we have no right to be alive, and unquestionably feel that we’re not good enough, that we’re not reasonable.
We either are forever self-damaging or overload with absurd perfectionism.
There is often excitement when it comes to this discovery about NPD because we realize we’re not crazy. That can be rapidly followed by rage, misery, sadness, humiliation and guilt, and maybe even hate.
We’re tired of our not recognized successes and our tragedies being used as drama queen fodder.
Maybe we will always feel like a little girl, and we will be probably scared to own, or access, our own ability. We’ve had years of being told we’re too perceptive, and possibly we are, now.
We have trouble to set boundaries, whether that’s with our family or with our friends.
We may well be unreasonably afraid of authority figures, or people which will be angry with us.
We are worried about whether we are narcissistic.
We may have body issues, either being obese, or terrified of gaining some weight.
We may find ourselves still facing a huge fear of her, no matter how old we are or how confident we are in other parts of our lives.
We may find that we’re still trying to get her acceptance or her attention.
We may want to severely cut off all contact with her, but we are still concerned and confused about that.
We have problems in forming relationships, or we’re attracted to harmful and abusive relationships. We have a constant fear of abandonment and huge trust issues. We think that the world isn’t safe place for us.
We also have massive difficulties about earning something. We may feel that we don’t deserve good things, or good relationships, or even that we don’t deserve to heal.