Empaths, people who feel the troubles of others as one of their own, are often known to be feeble, sensitive and helpless, and so are the overly sensitive people of our race. They are sometimes labelled as “weak hearted”, “broken”, etc. However, empathy is a human emotion that signifies compassion and sensitivity are proof that we are alive! One must never try to shy away from the world just because of ‘over-sensitivity’. Rather, sensitive people are gifted. Their ability of introspection, deep thinking, visions, and instincts are something beyond the level of a common man. They are usually very compassionate and one of the most lovable types of people to trod on Earth. If you are one of them, this article is dedicated to you!
I’m not preaching out hollow advice, I know it’s confusing for you, but trust me I know that even the simplest of activities may turn out to be a challenge for you. You might think that you’re a defective piece, a person without proper nerves or something – but believe me, it’s not true!
You feel it’s a curse – this over sensitivity, you cry over it, you ignore it, you act as if it doesn’t exist. And just when you feel you’re normal, a sentence break you up, “You’re so sensitive! Toughen up!” or, “You’re a guy! You can’t afford to cry over this…”
That’s when the vicious cycle of self-hate starts again. You wonder what’s it that’s wrong. What have you done to deserve this outrageous ailment? But hey, cheer up, this ain’t no ailment! You’re a beautiful and normal person.
I know you tend to be isolated, consider yourself different. But that’s how it is for sensitive people. However, in reality, everybody’s different.
Dr Elaine Aron – an esteemed researcher in the field of psychotherapy – informs us that 15% of the people in the world go through this situation of “sensory processing sensitivity”. They are deep thinkers; they feel everything to the very depths possible. They’re the easiest to stimulate.
Albert Einstein, Matin Luther kind, Steve Jobs and a number of other famous figures have been a part of this group of 15% people. So yeah, this is no disadvantage!
The problem begins when sensitive people choose to ignore the fact that they cannot handle a few things as easily as the others.They’re creative, studious, conscientious, devoted, but gym may not be the best place for them to be! When they ignore warnings and push themselves too hard, health issues and muscle tension gives them a sore time.
If you are one of those hyper-sensitive people, I have 10 tips that may help improve the way you think and make life easier for you, so read healthy and thrive!
There’s no doctor for you- the faster you understand, the better!
You must realize that sensitivity is not an ailment but a characteristic you’ve inherited probably from your mum. There’s no cure for it, no medicine will make you like sunflowers if you’re allergic to them, no therapy would help you digest eggs if you’re sensitive to them. Of course, accidental contact may lead to symptoms that may require medical help, and stress and anxieties may require therapies, but that’s where the help of outside personals end. They can’t go ahead and make your allergies go away “permanently”.
Similarly, if you are an overly helpful personality and can’t help feeling broken when you see your rudest neighbor’s daughter’s (who originally lives in the New York City and comes over to your town only once a year) die, there’s nothing anybody can do about it. Just relax, cry it out or whatever you do, and carry on as you usually do. A psychologist can do nothing for you, trust me!
Stop looking around for solutions that aren’t there. Learn to live with your sensitivities, allergies, feelings and emotions, which is the key to successful living – that’s advice straight from famous people, so better take it seriously!
Trying to hide your sensitivity is a no – no, face it!
It is your second nature to ignore your sensitivities, to not give a penny about how they affect your life and to avoid getting too involved in anything that might shoot up your sensitivities. But hey, smothering it all won’t help you. Your subconscious mind will retain every one of your issues, not to forget your body that’ll always show signs. Your rejection of the same will, in the long run, affect not only your health but your relationship with those around you. Your friends and family, work and every other chore would get affected. Instead, you must learn to live with and make the best of your ‘shortcomings’ or so you’d say. You should open your soul to gifts like empathy and finely tuned joy. Extreme levels of creativity may even be bestowed upon you. Open up and explore your inner self. Your sensitivity is not an issue, but you trying to neglect it is definitely a big one.
So embrace all you’re bequeathed with and you shall never feel sad again.
Keep repeating to yourself that you’re not making it up, that it’s real.
You know you’re not a fraud, but you must keep saying that to yourself. I know it’s difficult for you to live with the fear to be ‘found out’. You’re always afraid to let that tear fall while watching a cheesy commercial or reading a tragic book. You’re afraid of eating that taco, of risking everybody finding out that you can’t handle that chilly – even though you’re an Indian. You’re afraid of running that marathon, conscious of being made into a hyperventilating joke. It’s alright to feel conscious. But it’s unhealthy to let you eat it up.
Be yourself, say no to the marathon, say no to the taco, but don’t distance yourself from those around; don’t project a personality that you’re not. In being yourself you allow your body to be at its best, to feel comfortable and to breath. Accept that you’re one of those unique 15 percents to inhabit this world.
Know what is healthy for you
Waking up in the morning, rushing off to work, returning to wailing kids and a demanding husband, hitting the gym for an hour and then sleeping – sounds like your lifestyle? Then you should change it as soon as possible. Other people may get by their less food and no sleep lifestyle easily, but you can’t.
You must eat a proper diet and indulge in activities healthy for you! Yes, hitting the gym sounds healthy right? But for that over sensitive part of you, it’s a nightmare. It would be much more advisable to go in for light exercise sessions intervened with optimum recovery time. Eggs may sound healthy, but your allergies can worsen! So what’s healthy for your neighbor may not be so for you.
You must realize what suits you and must adhere to timely, disciplined life. It will not only improve your health but would help you cope with life in a better way. You’ll see the difference at home, at work and everywhere else you go.
Seek friends who’re alike – do not feel alone, because you are NOT alone!
There are a lot of people out there who’s like you. You’re not alone. 15 percent of the world population is like you! I know how difficult it is to stay calm when you’re actually frustrated of all the useless advice you get, of the isolation you have to face. The best way to battle it is to seek the help of those like you.
There a lot of sensitive people out there who have mastered these difficulties and have started on their venture to lend a helping hand. Befriend them, join help groups and share your problems. But beware of those who are intent on spreading negativities. There a lot of strangled souls out there as well – avoid their company and join people who are successful in crossing barriers.
A lot of successful sensitive people believe in celebrating and encouraging their special gifts and unique nerves. So get out of that little apartment and seek these wisdom pastures, join communities and groups – feel comfortable in the world. Life would instantly get better.
Tune into your body – befriend it in all ways possible- learn to read its signs.
I’m sure you’re tired of switching between routines – falling off timetables and plans. But that’s because you’re not listening to your body. You give in to the yearnings of your brain, but your body often gets neglected. Stop acting like a pendulum!
Your brain says diet where as your body says binge, your brain says get off the couch and go in for a rigorous gym session whereas your body demands rest – that’s where the problem arises. You need to stop doing extreme stuff and need to concentrate on settling in the middle. You must learn to read the various frequencies your body emits. You must learn what the things your body can’t bear are; you must learn to realise when you’re pushing yourself too hard. These would help you relax and stop. After all, isn’t precaution better than cure? Of course, it is! So invest some time in reading the signs your body blares out to you and life would instantly be better – or that’s what the experts say!
Be positive to get positivity- that’s the best cure for your depression!
Your brain receives the negative and the positive at the same time, but it is you who is to decide what to let in. It is true that if your thoughts are negative, your brain will perceive the negative and if you think positive, your brain will allow only positivity to infiltrate you.So it’s time you start focusing on the positive and forget the negativities. Of course, you can’t ignore them, but you can definitely not linger on the negatives and move on the positives. Read quotes that motivate, music that positive, listening to people who’re happy and cheerful and let go of the bad feelings.
You must realise that though your emotions feel like the drivers, you are the one who’s actually driving them. If you could get a rein on your thought process, your emotional self would definitely be grateful to you.
The successful sensitive people are all in for viewing the world as one huge mass of opportunities. This way they never run out of positive thoughts!
You don’t need to distance yourself from others, just learn to care for yourself, learn to say no.
We’ve all heard the old drawl – “no pain, no gain”! And so you decide to endure pain to gain. But you must never forget that being sensitive you are not the same as the others. In an attempt to struggle against the injustice of life, you end up building walls around yourself. You get into drugs and alcohols, isolate yourself, study too much, keep yourself busy just to avoid company and people – and that is wrong! That isn’t what you need.
You’re usually too much into other people – you’re afraid that if you come in contact you will be unable to suppress the urge of taking their emotional burden of yourself and of putting yourself in a self-sacrificing solution. And since saying no would hurt, you prefer keeping a distance from everyone.
The successful ones do not suggest this – they rather practice the art of saying no with love and gaiety, in a way that won’t hurt the other person. It’s time you start putting yourself before others. No matter how big an empath you are, you must not neglect yourself.
Forget the flaws, see the gifts, and learn to flip the coin.
You tend to be weighed down by your sensitive side often. Bouts of depression are common for you. Sounds familiar? Then you’re definitely not seeing the other side of the coin.
Hypersensitive people are often frustrated by their own behaviours. They don’t understand why they are the way they are, why can’t they be normal? Well, like all five fingers on our hands are unique, so are the people in this world.
When such bouts of questioning, depression and frustration consume you, you must focus on the positives. You must realise that you have an amazing set of instincts, vision etc. You are gifted beyond the common man and must thank God for it. Remember, your flaws have a brighter side, so focus on it. Do not break down. Stay strong.
Show some compassion to yourself, just like you do to others.
Being a highly sensitive person is accompanied by compassion. You’re surely very kind and gentle towards people around you. But when it comes to you, you are a self-criticizing personality – which is a bad sign. You often end up rebuking yourself for work you’ve done. You are harsh about self – assessment in a way you can’t even imagine inflicting on others. That is a very wrong practice.
You’re overly understanding towards others whereas to yourself you are usually a brute. But remember, until you love yourself, you won’t be able to love those around. SO get around the criticism and love your beautiful self. Encourage and celebrate your abilities to introspect and conjure up creative plans.
The only antidote to the harm your self-criticism does is that you should show love to yourself. Whenever your inner critic starts lashing out, just tell yourself how much you love yourself and how proud you are of the work you’ve done. I know it’s easier said than done, but with practice, it becomes better. Once you know the joy of it, you’ll seek it regardless of the hard work involved.