Emotional abuse is not new, but the only difference is that it is being discussed more often now. The worst thing is that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. The mark that emotional abuse leaves behind cannot be witnessed through naked eyes. They have a great impact on one’s life. Emotional abuse involves name-calling and not just that there will be an absolute lack of affection and your partner will be the one controlling your life, tastes, and preferences. You are so involved in making your partner happy that you almost forget to see what you are getting into.
Emotional abuse is a common term nowadays, but in order to understand the true meaning and respect the victims of emotional abuse, you should know the difference between a controlling partner and a forgetful partner. If your partner forgets your birthdays and anniversaries, then you cannot term him insensitive and scream of emotional abuse. It is far more deep-rooted than this.
Emotional abuse is where your partner will not attend you when you are dying sick, rather he will blame you for making his life miserable by getting sick. You will wake up every day feeling dreadful. You will try to make your partner happy in every possible way, still, find that something is amiss. You will always feel anxious, nauseous, and fearful while initiating any conversation with your partner.
Here we are trying to help you find out whether you are in an emotionally abusive relationship by chalking out 5 guidelines. Look out for these 5 signs and decide for yourself whether or not you are emotionally happy and healthy or emotionally distressed. You are precious and so is your life. Why waste it on someone who doesn’t know how to value your effort. Don’t think that you have failed in any way, it is them who need to mend their broken lives and get the act straight rather than venting their own frustration on others.
1.Espouse v/s dispirit
Has it ever happened that the two of you have sat down together and discussed your future plans and dreams? If you are excited about your new venture or your new work, then is your partner equally happy for you or is he sarcastic? If you are in a healthy relationship, then your partner will be supportive of what you do. Your partner will respect your space and will encourage you if you are in a healthy relationship. But, on the other hand, an abusive partner will always be ready with their taunts and negative remarks when you are trying to achieve your dreams.
2.Appreciation v/s disparagement
When everybody is talking highly about your work, your partner seems to be indifferent and choose to behave otherwise. Compliments are flowing in from all directions for the excellent work that you have done or your recent weight loss except for your partner. Your partner is busy mocking you for your effort. He doesn’t want you to be confident in your own skin because then the chances of you leaving him for good will be on the cards and that he can’t allow. Instead, he will not leave any chance of ridiculing you for everything and bring you down.
3.Compassion v/s coldness
You have just lost someone very close to you or you might have lost the race or lost something precious, but your partner instead of being empathetic towards you starts shouting at you. If you are down and out you always keep it to yourself because you know that your partner is not going to show any compassion. They are intolerant towards your miseries. They want to stay in control by breaking you down into pieces through emotional abuse. A loving and caring partner will never leave you alone when you need a shoulder to cry on.
4.Poise v/s disarray
Every relationship goes through rocky roads, but the healthy ones are able to come out of it holding each other’s hand without getting affected by the turmoil. But, in case of an emotionally abusive relationship, the turmoil, the rough patches seems unending. Healthy relationship seeks poise and calmness whereas an emotionally abusive relationship is chaotic all the time. If you are always emotionally distraught, then it is time to give your relationship a serious thought.
5.Accountability v/s culpability
Do you find yourself in a situation where each and every incident is being blamed on you? If your partner is always blaming you for everything that goes wrong, then you are definitely in an emotionally abusive relationship. Your partner can’t come to terms with the fact that he can be wrong or his decision was wrong. He finds it quite easy to put the blame on you, even when it has something to do with his professional life. The emotional abuser has always targeted someone to vent their own frustration on them so that they can make themselves believe that they failed because of someone else and it was not their fault.
A healthy relationship thrives on admiration, poise, accountability, and appreciation. All these elements come together to build a beautiful relationship where two people feel safe in each other’s company. If you feel that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, then visit a therapist to seek help from them. Always remember that you deserve to be happy in a relationship.